Our Personal Message to You About Sexual Abuse Healing and Prevention
Our Story During the summer of 2005 I learned the truth of the old adage that one moment of time can literally sink a person. My father had taught me how to be a good swimmer. Despite his lessons, I found myself struggling to stay afloat as I swam with my 11-year-old daughter. It was at that moment that she decided to share with me the events of her being sexually abused. As she spoke, I felt that I would be forever moored at the bottom of the community pool. Earlier, that same evening, my youngest child, Ty, told me that he witnessed his uncle touching and kissing his sister. I assured Ty that I believed him, but I need to have his sister confirm what he had seen. When I spoke with her, she assured me that her little brother simply didn’t understand that these were kisses goodnight or goodbye. She assured me that her uncle did nothing that made her feel bad or uncomfortable. Two hours later, as we casually swam together, she began to describe to me the sexual assaults that took place during the past two year. The following morning I advised my children concerning what to do if this uncle phoned our home. Our other two children questioned me as to why they could not talk to their favorite uncle. As I responded to their concerns, 8-year-old Autumn began to describe the sexual abuse that was also imposed on her, buy this same uncle. Most of the sexual assaults took place in our home, sometimes when I was even in the same room. Ty, having played a game of spy, stopped more than two years of assaults focused on our daughters. This experience also unearthed decades of assaults implemented by this uncle within his own family and the community. Cutting our family off from the predator was not enough to stop the effects of the abuse. Our daughters continued to have overwhelming fear, which spilled out into their dreams. Ty withdrew from adults, causing him not to
be able to speak outside of our home. Our other son grieved daily for the loss of his favorite uncle. The common practice of psychiatric therapy did not seem to prompt healing for our family. I concluded that alternative therapy methods needed to be applied.
First we explored equestrian therapy at a local university. As we all worked with the horses, I watched my children’s fears diminish. Equestrian therapy delivered the antidote which helped us all to begin to heal. After a year of this therapy, I overheard our aging 11-year-old as she gave Ty a pep talk. Her goal was to help him realize that he no longer should fear speaking to adults, especially his football coaches. She stressed to him, “If we can get on a horse and control it, we can do anything.” That week Ty began to talk to his coaches.
Autumn has always been our family artist. Because of this fact, I concluded that art therapy would benefit her. Because we could not gain easy access to an art therapist, Autumn and I developed our own techniques. As we talked and worked together, I witnessed Autumn transfer all of the abuse onto paper, where it could no longer hurt her.
A year after the exposure of the crimes, Autumn began to teach her friends about what it meant to be sexually abused. As she shared her art, she began to realize how helpful her story could be. One day she asked, “Mom, when are you going to publish my book so it will help other kids feel safe?” I explained that I assumed that the book was just for us. Her matter-of-fact response helped me to understand that her book had transformed into her way to heal. She said, “We need to wipe sexual abuse of kids off the earth. My book will do that.”
Today, Autumns art work and story form the 32-page children’s story book titled Feeling Safe by Autumn Grace and Mom. As Autumn and I work together, our goal is to encourage all who read the book to prevent and heal from sexual abuse. By doing this, we all can feel safe.
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About the Authors
Autumn Grace lives in Pennsylvania with her family and cat Tippy. She began writing this book when she was in the 3rd grade. Her favorite classes at school are reading, science, and art. Weekly, she is involved in equestrian therapy and hopes to someday participate in a college equestrian team. She enjoys swimming, running, playing with her friends, and roller skating. When she grows up, one of her goals is to work as an art and equestrian therapist with children who have been sexually abused.
Maggie Gould married her high school sweet heart and together they are raising their family of 4 children. Maggie has worked as a journalist, photojournalist, and researchers. For over 10-years she has been a stay at home Mom. During that time she volunteered as a parent participant on state and federal boards for autism. She also assisted with local parent groups to enhance the quality of life for child and adults with autism. Currently she is participating as a sexual assault speaker for the Coalition of Pennsylvania Crime Victims Organization Survivors Speakers Bureau.
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